Ok, so I have a few OCD tendencies and I am totally ok with that. However, since I have lost weight, I have really had to work to change a few of those tendencies. One of them, which may be a little bit tmi, is the bathroom stall I am willing to use in a public restroom. In the past, before lost my weight, the only stall I would use would be the handicap. I didn't feel like there was enough room in the "normal" stalls. Seriously, turning around in a small stall could have been counted as an Olympic event for me. I never thought of myself as "handicap," just too big to be comfortable in a small stall. Anyway, the other day, I went to the bathroom in Walmart......seriously, I have to just start my Walmart trip with a bathroom trip no matter if I go before I leave home or not. So, I go in and there is absolutely no one in there but the first place I head to is the handicap bathroom stall. Then, I stopped myself and thought, I don't have to go in there. I think I will probably be comfortable in any of these stalls. So, I went into a regular stall. Now, this may sound like a post of tmi at this juncture, but I do have a point. That point is, even though my outside is changing, I have to really focus on changing my mind, or my inside. I have had to do a lot of work on my brain, not just my body. There is no lasting changes that can be sustained unless the root of the problem is addressed. And for weight issues, most of the time, the root of the problem is deeper than just, "I like to eat." People ask me all of the time, how I lose weight and how I've changed my attitude. I admit, in the beginning, the best I could do was take it a minute at a time using all of the will power I could muster. But that will power will come and go. You have to be prepared with readying your mind. Assessing why you think you need food is a big part of addressing food issues. I constantly ask myself, am I hungry? Do I need food to fuel my body or to fill an emotional hunger? Am I using food in place of love or in place of some other need that isn't met? As far as my attitude....well, it just feels much better to be happy than it does to feel like crap. I was talking to a friend the other day and I said, you know....I used to just sit in a big pile of crap all the time and I just tried to spread the crap around...but then I would be upset when no one really wanted to be around me. Well who the heck would? I made a decision to see what it would be like to not sit or dwell on the crap anymore. I made a decision to see what it would be like to not live to show off my pain but to live in spite of it and touch lives in a more positive way. Now, I make that decision everyday. Do I want to live grateful or do I want to live like an Eeyore? I had to make the decision to change my mind. Is it easy?? No way!! Is it worth it? Absolutely!! If it were easy, then every single person would be doing it. However, I fully believe it is possible for anyone. Don't live to share your pain or show off your anger....change your mind,...change yourself...and change your world!! Peace and Love to all of you!!