You know when you have this idea in your head of who you are, like down to your core? You have this excitement about the things you are capable of! Time goes on and you push on and break through so many barriers you never thought possible. The sky is the limit. Then, you make a few mistakes and it costs you, costs you big. The voice in your head says....keep pushing through. You challenge the thoughts that are triggered by the slightest things and give you thoughts like: you always ruin everything, you will never be who you think you can be, you are just fooling yourself, you aren't perfect so who are you to encourage others, you aren't unique, you aren't special. The thing is though, a few years ago, this way of thinking would have put me down and kept me down, especially this time of year. While I love fall, it is a triggering and tough time of year for me. A perfectionistic people pleaser can be really really hard on herself. It is an ongoing chore to challenge these thoughts and realize that, yes, I make mistakes and yes, I will hurt people...even if it is accidental...and people come and people go....but those things don't change my capability, my worth or my purpose!
Challenging those old tapes are difficult but they are necessary. Looking in the mirror and seeing those faults only bring room for growth. It isn't easy for sure but the things that bring the most rewards are never easy and feeling good and whole and knowing your worth and your capabilities are a reward worth working towards. So, all of that to say, I sometimes struggle but now, I am willing to fight to keep the rewards and I encourage you to do the same. Face yourself, acknowledge those fears and those struggles and break through to the you that has always been there!!