http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/01/man-adopts-girlfriend-_n_1247607.html
I am gay. Maybe you knew, maybe you didn't. It really doesn't matter I guess because it doesn't define me but it is part of who I am. There is a line, and this is with anything you feel passionately about, where you can have feelings about the way things are or aren't and how you let it affect you. While "thumbing" through this morning news I came across an article about a wealthy man in Florida who adopted his long time girlfriend in order to "protect" his money from a civil suit against him regarding his decision to drink and drive which ultimately resulted in someone's death. Now, there are several things that bother me about this article. One thing is, this woman. I mean, where is her self respect? This man is trying to paint this lawsuit as a way to protect money in a trust for his children, which I guess the woman could justify and say she is trying to help the children (weak argument, in my opinion). What adult person allows someone else to adopt them? How does this relationship actually work out?? Another thing, which I guess is probably the obvious: LGBT people are not allowed to marry or adopt in every state but this man can adopt his girlfriend? The arguments vary from one person to another as to why they oppose this but one big one is because of the sanctity of marriage and to protect families. This heterosexual couple who are allowed to marry, don't, but one allows the other to adopt them and this is ok....I mean a judge gave the "ok" for this adoption but I am part of a group that threatens the sanctity of marriage and families?? Really?? I respect marriage. I respect parenthood. These are important decision and life choices. Some people argue the Bible for the reason to discriminate and I won't go into that except to say that it really shouldn't be a point in government decisions. Some say marriage is just a piece of paper and that I shouldn't worry about not having that piece of paper. First, I don't worry about it, I've accepted the state of what is right now. But, marriage, as recognized by the government is not just a piece of paper. A spouse has rights and priviledges that I don't have with Sarah. If Sarah and I get married in one State and go to another, it doesn't really matter in that State. Unless of course, Sarah and I go to court and get papers that protect us both. So, if we are on vacation in say, North Carolina and Sarah, Brennah and I are in an accident of some kind (not going to happen) and I am ok but they aren't, it could be a really big problem if I haven't gone to court. See, I couldn't make any medical decisions for Sarah or Brennah and sometimes wouldn't even be allowed to see either one of them. I have to go to court, pay thousands of dollars to get those rights and even then Sarah's family could take me to court to fight those "rights." People like to say, whatever you do in your bed is no one's business (which it isn't). Well, I don't know about your marriage and or relationship, but mine is more than that. If you are heterosexual, you don't have to pay thousands of dollars to protect your rights. You don't have to live in the right state to have your marriage recognized or be able to adopt children. It is so very very difficult to stay positive about this. I get aggravated when I see stories like this for people who don't have respect for marriage and family and take advantage of it to just, well honestly, cover their ass. However, I am beyond blessed to have the spouse I do. I have found love. Some people go their whole lives not knowing the kind of love Sarah and I have for each other. I am not able to biologically have children, but Brennah has brought love I've never known into my life and I am so grateful to call her my daughter. I love Sarah and Brennah and I hold out hope that people in this country will let go of their prejudices that most hold in fear and embrace us as a family. I know that is kind of long, but I needed to vent a bit. Politics is a difficult subject to discuss between friends. However, if we keep open minds with each other and hold respectful discussions it doesn't have to be so difficult. This can go with any disagreement between friends. You don't always have to agree, I mean, how boring would that be if we all agreed. But, we can respect each other's opinions and maybe even help each other find some common ground. Relationships take compromise. If only the leaders of this country could find some common ground and compromise. We have to learn to set our own agendas aside and listen to each other and have some compassion, It is possible to have a positive attitude in politics but it does take work. It takes good listening skills and a willingness to compromise. I know there are a lot of differing opinions out there and feel free to discuss them, politely : ) Love to each of you!! I am grateful for you all, you make life interesting!!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/01/man-adopts-girlfriend-_n_1247607.html
3 Comments
M
2/2/2012 02:52:58 am
It has to start with your own family and move outward.
Holly
2/2/2012 08:09:19 am
Bigotry wrapped in prayer is still bigotry I say. I'm Christian, catholic even, and conservative at that, but I agree. And someday, I do believe, it'll change.
Lisa
2/2/2012 12:48:31 pm
Melissa I want so much to give you a huge hug! I agree with you. I like to think I'm a Christian and yes I'm slightly conservative. But I was raised to believe that I have no place to judge others, to know right from wrong, respect, and follow my heart. I just can't see God allowing someone to feel such love for someone else if it's wrong. I'm not trying to push religion but if it's meant to be it's meant to be. I believe that he has made us with a specific purpose in life. Given your life, your love, your accomplishments, and the beautiful family you, Sarah, and Brennah have become I can't imagine how any of that could be a threat to my marriage or family. If anything it's an inspiration. I fully support you guys and your journey to become a family in the face of adversity. It truly takes courage and true love, two qualities you're not lacking. Leave a Reply. |