I have always had opinions. I was probably born with a distinct opinion on what
diapers I liked and what baby clothes I would wear (Obviously I can't know that
for sure, Lol). Anyway, I have opinions. STRONG opinions. Yes, I would like
everyone to agree with my opinions, but they do not. Here comes the positive
attitude and the difficult part. I have to believe that just because someone
disagrees with my opinion, even if it is regarding something deeply personal to
me, does not mean that I cannot be their friend or that it is a personal attack
towards me. As I said in my previous post, I am a lesbian. Being a lesbian in
small town middle America is not easy. It is not widely accepted by many and in
fact, many people have grand opinions on it all. When people comment that I
live in sin, or indicate that my life is "just a phase" or that my family is not
real because, "it isn't what god ordained," I get my feelings hurt and I get
angry. These are all valid emotions and one could see how I might feel
personally attacked. One who is extremely understanding might even understand
why I go on the defense before I even speak to a Christian. But, me shutting
those people out of my life completely for not believing the way I do is not any
better than those who shut me out of their life because I am a lesbian. I
believe my family should be equal in this country and I believe I should be able
to marry Sarah without a few religious people attacking me saying I am a part of
the downfall of our society or I am a child molester or that I want to "recruit"
children to become gay. It is fine with me for people to have their religious
beliefts and live by them to their heart's desire. But what is not fine for me
is for one person's religion to dictate one life for me. I could go into all
the problems with religion and holy books and the manipulation of those books
but that will accomplish nothing. Just as no one is going to change my mind,
most of the time, my debate is not going to change anyone else's mind either.
It would be nice if everyone could just live in harmony and accept each other
for who they are but everyone is different and everyone has opinions and
everyone's opinions were formed by their life experiences and their collected
knowledge. It would be easier to just surround myself with people who believe
just like me and value all the things I value but that sounds boring. That
sounds like I would be missing out on knowing a lot of great people. I can
accept parts of people and overlook our disagreements. My friend Laura has
taught me a lot about this. Laura is a Christian woman with very conservative
beliefs. She believes that god only ordained man and woman for each other. When
Laura and I met and hung out the first time, she bluntly stated her beliefs and
said, there, now that that is out of the way, let's go have some coffee. She
loves and cares about me, Sarah and our daughter. She recognizes us as a family
and treats Sarah and I well. She acknowledges both of us as our daughter's
parents and even acknowledges Sarah and I as a relationship. I know how she
feels about us in terms of religion but I also know that she does not think of
us as being unequal to her and her family. If Sarah and I were to be able to
legally marry in this state, Laura would not come. I can understand that. It
hurts, but I understand it. Sarah and I want to be recognized by government not
church but I can still understand those who have principles and need to stand on
them. Realizing that people can have opinions and values different from each
other while still being able to forge great and meaningful relationships is
definately a postive that I can stand by. So, yes, I have opinions and a lot of
them are in regards to politics and religion...two things people usually feel
very passionate about, but, I can have these opinions and value and care about
others and that, my friend, is a very positive attitude and outlook. Have a
great day and keep on the sunny side : )
diapers I liked and what baby clothes I would wear (Obviously I can't know that
for sure, Lol). Anyway, I have opinions. STRONG opinions. Yes, I would like
everyone to agree with my opinions, but they do not. Here comes the positive
attitude and the difficult part. I have to believe that just because someone
disagrees with my opinion, even if it is regarding something deeply personal to
me, does not mean that I cannot be their friend or that it is a personal attack
towards me. As I said in my previous post, I am a lesbian. Being a lesbian in
small town middle America is not easy. It is not widely accepted by many and in
fact, many people have grand opinions on it all. When people comment that I
live in sin, or indicate that my life is "just a phase" or that my family is not
real because, "it isn't what god ordained," I get my feelings hurt and I get
angry. These are all valid emotions and one could see how I might feel
personally attacked. One who is extremely understanding might even understand
why I go on the defense before I even speak to a Christian. But, me shutting
those people out of my life completely for not believing the way I do is not any
better than those who shut me out of their life because I am a lesbian. I
believe my family should be equal in this country and I believe I should be able
to marry Sarah without a few religious people attacking me saying I am a part of
the downfall of our society or I am a child molester or that I want to "recruit"
children to become gay. It is fine with me for people to have their religious
beliefts and live by them to their heart's desire. But what is not fine for me
is for one person's religion to dictate one life for me. I could go into all
the problems with religion and holy books and the manipulation of those books
but that will accomplish nothing. Just as no one is going to change my mind,
most of the time, my debate is not going to change anyone else's mind either.
It would be nice if everyone could just live in harmony and accept each other
for who they are but everyone is different and everyone has opinions and
everyone's opinions were formed by their life experiences and their collected
knowledge. It would be easier to just surround myself with people who believe
just like me and value all the things I value but that sounds boring. That
sounds like I would be missing out on knowing a lot of great people. I can
accept parts of people and overlook our disagreements. My friend Laura has
taught me a lot about this. Laura is a Christian woman with very conservative
beliefs. She believes that god only ordained man and woman for each other. When
Laura and I met and hung out the first time, she bluntly stated her beliefs and
said, there, now that that is out of the way, let's go have some coffee. She
loves and cares about me, Sarah and our daughter. She recognizes us as a family
and treats Sarah and I well. She acknowledges both of us as our daughter's
parents and even acknowledges Sarah and I as a relationship. I know how she
feels about us in terms of religion but I also know that she does not think of
us as being unequal to her and her family. If Sarah and I were to be able to
legally marry in this state, Laura would not come. I can understand that. It
hurts, but I understand it. Sarah and I want to be recognized by government not
church but I can still understand those who have principles and need to stand on
them. Realizing that people can have opinions and values different from each
other while still being able to forge great and meaningful relationships is
definately a postive that I can stand by. So, yes, I have opinions and a lot of
them are in regards to politics and religion...two things people usually feel
very passionate about, but, I can have these opinions and value and care about
others and that, my friend, is a very positive attitude and outlook. Have a
great day and keep on the sunny side : )