Wow! Has it really been a year since I posted here? I am going to do my best to keep up with this because I feel I am my most honest self here.
I have a confession to make: I am not perfect. You read correctly. I. Am. NOT. Perfect. This is probably NOT news to you but the fact that I don't have to be perfect is news to me everyday. Every. Single. Day.
Okay, well, it isn't really new news to me because I am completely and overly aware of all my flaws and short comings. I, however, have this insane need to be as close to perfection as possible. I will beat and berate myself for being less that what my best is. There is nothing wrong with striving for the best you, at least inherently. But, when room is not given for mistakes and back peddles and just all around screw ups, well, authenticity and sincerity are just not possible.
I feel I have worked really hard to release the guilt and shame that made the younger me feel like I needed to portray myself as something I wasn't. I do not operate from that place of needing people to see something in me that I cannot. I have learned to value myself as I am and to value what I want to strive for. It isn't something to shame myself about but it is something to work toward and along the journey use my gifts to help others a long the way.
I do hold myself to a standard. Not to please others or to be something I am not but to better myself. I am not always positive. I am not always encouraging. I am not always smiling. I do not always do the right things or eat the right things. I do not treat my body the way I think I should sometimes.I can admit these things and I can value what I am trying to do for myself, for others and the world around me and strive daily to be the best me I can be. We were not meant for perfection. It is an impossible task. We are, however, meant to impact this world with our being and with our purpose.
You were made for great things. This world would not be the same world without you in it. Perfect or not, you matter and have purpose. You have purpose. That is incredible. Each person in this life has purpose.
I have a confession to make: I am not perfect. You read correctly. I. Am. NOT. Perfect. This is probably NOT news to you but the fact that I don't have to be perfect is news to me everyday. Every. Single. Day.
Okay, well, it isn't really new news to me because I am completely and overly aware of all my flaws and short comings. I, however, have this insane need to be as close to perfection as possible. I will beat and berate myself for being less that what my best is. There is nothing wrong with striving for the best you, at least inherently. But, when room is not given for mistakes and back peddles and just all around screw ups, well, authenticity and sincerity are just not possible.
I feel I have worked really hard to release the guilt and shame that made the younger me feel like I needed to portray myself as something I wasn't. I do not operate from that place of needing people to see something in me that I cannot. I have learned to value myself as I am and to value what I want to strive for. It isn't something to shame myself about but it is something to work toward and along the journey use my gifts to help others a long the way.
I do hold myself to a standard. Not to please others or to be something I am not but to better myself. I am not always positive. I am not always encouraging. I am not always smiling. I do not always do the right things or eat the right things. I do not treat my body the way I think I should sometimes.I can admit these things and I can value what I am trying to do for myself, for others and the world around me and strive daily to be the best me I can be. We were not meant for perfection. It is an impossible task. We are, however, meant to impact this world with our being and with our purpose.
You were made for great things. This world would not be the same world without you in it. Perfect or not, you matter and have purpose. You have purpose. That is incredible. Each person in this life has purpose.