So, it has been a little bit since I have blogged. It has been a very hectic couple of weeks. I was under the weather for a little while but I am doing better now. Then, as some of you may know, we have been having some serious issues with our daughter. Without going into much detail, Brennah has a spectrum disorder as well as ADHD. Usually the beginning of school is a very difficult adjustment and this year has been no different. However, this year, there have been a few changes. One, she has a new doctor who is trying to take her off her stimulant medication (which we are definitely in favor of), so we are dealing with a lot more hyper than we have been used to. Second, she has become more aggressive towards me. I am not talking about a little bit of aggressiveness but a lot. Third, those closest to us that know our situation all of a sudden think it is just us. Everyone has advice -- be consistant, have firm boundaries, have rules with consequences etc. These are all things we already do. I know everyone is just trying to help, but honestly, what we need is support and encouragement. What we don't need is people making us feel worse about it than we already do. Sarah and I would move the world for Brennah. We love her more than anything else -- period. We know she behaves at school and for most other people, she is exceptional in her behavior. What others do not realize is that with the issues she has, this is a normal occurance -- trouble at home but keeping it together other places. Now, I know you are thinking, where is the positive in this? Well, here it is -- what a lucky family we are to have so many people who care about us and care about our family. Not a lot of lesbian or gay families can say they have the support that we have. People may not "agree" with our family, but they love us just the same. It is difficult sometimes to remember that people offer advice because they care not because they are passing blame. We often get defensive because of our own frustrations. I know for me, I have definitely been frustrated. It is heart breaking to see my daughter go through this and it hurts my heart everytime she has a melt down. It frustrates me for people to think that the actions we take for her behalf are for anything other than what is best for her. We want her to be a regular 7 year old little girl, and sometimes she is and we embrace that. However, there are times she is not. We have had to readjust some things and realize that Brennah is Brennah and embrace her for just that. It is what we want for her. We have always wanted her to embrace who she is and be happy with who she is. Sure, she may not be what an ideal may be, but she is our ideal, because she is Brennah. The same goes for each of us. It is in our best interest to embrace the wonderful things about ourselves and develop them to create the beautiful life we want and deserve. So, even though it has been difficult, Brennah has been the teacher this past week. We can learn from our children and from each other. Let's not push each other away but embrace and grow!! Peace to each of you : )
So, this past week-end has been physically exhausting but so much fun. Friday night I went to a Zumba White Party. I know you are like, a what? Well, you wear all white and dance in black lights. We had a guest instructor. Her name was Vita. Vita is from the Dominican Republic. Vita can move her hips like there's no tomorrow. She was AHmazing!!! Her choreography was fun and intense too. I was having a GREAT time and then, she did a dance I have been working on. I thought, oh my -- I will NEVER be able to do mine now. It just won't live up to hers. I had a great time but I left a bit discouraged. Then on Sunday I went to do my certification. The trainer, Tony, has been with Zumba for 9 years. He knows and has danced with Beto many many times. He has his own dance studio and has danced professional as a ballroom dancer. While we were training, I was thinking there is just no way I can lead a class like this. But, part of this journey has been identifying negative thinking and challenging it with positive things. There is no positive results in comparing ourselves with others. There is no positive in using words like NEVER. Comparing ourselves brings nothing but fear and anxiety. So, while my hips may not move exactly like Vita's, they move. A year ago I could not make it through a grocery trip without swelling ankles and being exhausted. Now, I can MOVE!! I can dance!! I HAVE moves!! I can race through the grocery store, come home and put them away and do whatever else I need to do. Two months ago, I was extremely fearful to get up in front of a class and lead and now, it's not so scary. My choreography may not be as "professional" looking as Tony but I can still choreograph a dance. And with each new dance I choreograph, the better I get at it. So, comparing outselves is something that is so easy for us to do, it is not beneficial. What is beneficial is to know yourself and to better yourself everyday. Set goals and move forward. Don't waste your time comparing yourself, use your time and follow your passions and dreams. Remember, my friends, we create our lives. So, create something beautiful, go for it and dance through life with all you've got!!
Has anyone ever told you, "Be grateful because there is always someone worse of than you?" How comforting is that when you are facing a very dark situation or time? Today is the one year anniversary since my mom had a very serious surgery during her cancer treatment. If there is one major lesson I learned from my mom during this time it was to be grateful. Yes, she had cancer and yes she was going through major surgery, radiation and chemotherapy, but she was grateful for every second of every day and she still lives her life like there may be no tomorrow. It is important to be grateful and focus on the positives in life. It definitely is not the easiest habit to get into but if you can train yourself to follow every negative thought or statement with two or three positive statements, eventually it will become a habit. I had a great friend in high school that everytime she heard me say something negative about myself, she would demand I say three nice things about myself. If she heard me speaking unkind of someone else, she made me say three nice things about them. At first, it seemed ridiculous, but it has become a great habit. There are many things to always be grateful for. Before your feet even hit the floor in the morning, you can be grateful for waking up. Before you leave your house to go to work in the morning, you can be grateful for a house to leave and a job to go to. Those who are grateful make room for more things to be grateful for. So, I am going to list ten things I am grateful for: 1) My partner and daughter 2) My parents and our relationship 3) My health 4) My home 5) Fall weather 6) Exercise 7) My animals 8) Healthy food 9) Quiet time in the morning 10) Having a passion What are you grateful for? I challenge you to make a list and remember that you can always find something to grateful for : ) Have a fabulous day my friends!!